Nola L. Kelsey Profile and Articles


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1). Bat Ejection Techniques – Country Survival Course #27
People lie! They lie about the bliss of rural relocation. They lie about the size of fish they catch. They lie about being there for you. But, mostly, they lie about bats! Such a silly thing, yet no one can admit the ugly truth. “Bats only come into your house. It never happens to me,” friends say. Liars!

Evidence to the contrary exist...

2). Chicken Rearing 101 – How Not to Raise Chickens
Chick: A hatchling

Capon: A castrated male used for meat. (How much could that yield?)

Pullet: A female chicken under one year old.

Hen: A female chicken over one year of age

Rooster: A male chicken over one year of age.

Raising Chickens for the first time can be intimidating. When ...

3). Chicken Rearing 101 – How Not to Raise Poultry
Caution! Poultry parenthood is not all it’s cracked up to be. Are you considering becoming a backyard egg farmer? Chicken Rearing 101 examines the humorous, yet, brutally harsh realities of life as a small time chick wrangler.

4). Chickens 101 - How Not to Raise Poultry
Chickens 101 - How Not to Raise Poultry

5). Clothesline Fresh – Country Myth Breaker # 17
Clothesline fresh, country fresh scent, smells like a country garden, those of us from the city have all seen our share of country clad laundry soap commercials. The token red barn glows in the distance. Closer in, clothes adorn the line. Each piece is so straight and evenly spaced you’d believe a team of sophomore geometry students hung them as th...

6). Country Lawn Maintenance - 10 Tips to Know Before You Mow
Practical survival skills should be fifty percent of what we study in school! Languishing twelve to sixteen years in the bowels of our education system should not leave American citizens unprepared to cope with perpetually running toilets. A burned out taillight should not knock our world off its axis. This chasm of neglected wisdom is not simply f...

7). Field Notes on Country Linguistics
You hear many endearing phrases in the county. Translating them to English can be complex. Use these handy Field Notes on Country Linguistics to lay the ground-work effective communication in the hinterland.

8). Great Pyrenees Grooming Tips - Special Techniques for Large Breed Dogs
The secrets to grooming a large breed dog are revealed. With a little work and a few trips to Home Depot, your Great Pyrenees, Saint Bernard or Newfoundland will glow with beauty.

9). Insurance 101 - Undermining America for the Good of Americans
What is the role of insurance in Keeping the Masses Down? Are you paying money to destroy freedom? Buyer beware.

10). Milk Goats: Know Thy Enemy
Patience may be a virtue, but laughter is the only way to survive newbie goat milking. Use this journal to draw hope. There is light at the end of the nipple

11). Rural Relocation – Considerations and Adjustments
So you’re thinking about going country? It’s time to abandon the frenzy of city life, drop the ‘G’ from the end of your verbs and trade your Gucci for goats. You long to be in a place where business is done on a handshake, where your backyard is bountiful and where folks welcome you with warm apple pie and a smile. You want the simple life.

12). Serengeti Safari - Memories and Miscommunications
The scene before me could be matched nowhere else on earth. Parched yellow grass spread out before us as far as the eye could see - broken only by the occasional umbrella tree and a few hundred thousand migrating wildebeest forming a dusty, thin gray line on the horizon to the north. As the sun pounded down from overhead, heat vapors danced up from...

13). Taliban Infiltrates South Dakota Legislature
Where are the last vestiges of Afghanistan’s Taliban leaders hiding? Are they cowering in caves near the Pakistani border? Perhaps they own a condo complex in Karachi. More likely they are on a Dude Ranch in America’s Heartland.

Remember 1994? Religious fundamentalists overtook Afghanistan and trounced on that nation’s women with a ve...

14). The Perks of Global Warming
Good News! Those pesky glaciers are finally melting off. At first, news of devastating global climate change might seem a bit of a bummer. Relax. Your faith is about to be restored.

15). Zoo Use 101
Do you truly see animals at the zoo? A while back, on a visit to the J. Paul Getty Museum in Santa Monica, I overheard a tour guide say the average time spent looking at a work of art in the museum is five to ten seconds per piece. At first this shocked me. At the time I was standing entranced next to Van Gogh’s ‘Irises.’ I envisioned museumgoers n...


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