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Healing Childhood Experiences - part 3

By:Robert Elias Najemy

Beginning Transformation

We suggest that you also read the parts previous and following to this.

Having recognized some of our childhood experiences and mistaken conclusions in parts 1 &2, here we continue to investigate the messages we received as children through people’s words, behaviors or attitudes.

If this process causes you to feel disturbed, seek the help of an experienced professional. If possible find an practitioner trained in TFT, EFT or EMDR.

Questionnaire to get Acquainted with our Inner Child

Complete the following sentences with as many answers as come to you mind:

1. As a child, I heard that my most significant faults were..

2. As a child, I felt guilt for /when ..

3. Messages I received about God were .

4. Messages I received sex were ..

5. Messages I received about money were ...

6. I felt rejection when...

7. I felt fear when…

8. I felt anger when…

9. I felt shame or inferiority when...

10. I felt secure when…

11. I felt peace when …

12. I felt loved when…

13. I felt love when…

13. I felt happy when…

Procedure for Liberation from Childhood Wounds and Obstacles Toward Emotional Harmony and Happiness

A. Daily Communication with the Child Within

This can be done daily as an exercise in itself or as a prelude to meditation or prayer.

1. Sit or lie down with the spine straight.

2. Relax the entire body and mind with any relaxing or concentration technique.

3. Now imagine or feel your inner child and communicate with it.
a. Ask it how it feels.
b. Ask if it has some needs it would like to satisfy.
c. Express to the child your needs and goals as an adult.

4. Give it the positive reinforcement it needs to hear about love, security and worth.

5. Embrace the child mentally with tenderness and love.
a. Feel the child in your arms and then
b. Identify with the small body and feel yourself inside the embrace; accept the love and tenderness offered to you.

B. Analysis

1. Write the story of your childhood years.
a. Add whatever additional memories you remember each day.
b. It doesn’t need to be in chronological order.
c. You can write in the third or first person.
d. Ask others (parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, grandparents) what they remember.
e. Look at old pictures and seek to remember how you felt then.

2. Questionnaire for the analysis of unpleasant childhood experiences

Now choose the experiences, beliefs or emotions, which you would like to transform:

Having done so, we now move on to the following process.

a. Describe an experience or general situation which was unpleasant, that made you feel fear, sorrow, guilt, rejection, danger, injustice, jealousy or any other unpleasant emotion.

b. What were the exact emotions which you had as a child?

c. What thoughts or to what conclusions did you arrive as a child because of this experience or situation?

d. In what way did you react then as a child?

e. What effect did this experience have upon you later in your life or even today?

f. If you could have been at that time absolutely open and honest, what would you have said to your parents or to others who played a role (or who were with you) in this event or in this situation?
1. What did you feel then as a child?
2. What were your needs and desires?
3. What did you want them to do or not do?

(Write the answer in the second person to your parents and / or to others as if you were speaking to them or writing them a letter).

When you finish with one experience or situation, go on to another and another, answering the same questions.

3. Write letters to the people who played an important role in the unpleasant experiences of your childhood (parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, siblings, grandparents & others).

a. Communicate totally openly and honestly.

b. Add new thoughts and feelings each day.

c. No necessity for chronological order.

d. Express how you felt at that young age (not how you see it or explain it now).

e. Release and express your negative (and positive) feelings.

f. Express your needs, feelings, desires and thoughts you had at that time.

Note: It is not necessary to give these letters to the people you are writing them to, only to have expressed them yourself. In some cases, however, once you are clear about this, and have released the emotional charge concerning theses issues, you may want to communicate verbally or in writing with those concerned – whether they are living or not.

Remember however that life has given you the experiences you need to proceed in your evolutionary process and that you have probably gained much internally from all this.

4. Read the letters to someone who is experienced in active listening.

a. If you find that the reading causes strong feelings, express and release them, before you continue reading. Don’t hold these emotions locked inside you.

b. You may need to read these letters additional times until the emotional charge is released.

If you can find a practitioner experienced TFT, EFT or EMDR, you will be able to get free even more quickly from these emotions.

Important Note:

Some of us may have stored emotionally charged memories in our subconscious. We need to release these from our energy system in order to create health, happiness, peace, clarity, evolution and harmonious relationships.

Working with them, however, in some cases, may temporarily bring to the surface some unpleasant or disturbing feelings. We are of course experiencing these negative energies subconsciously and psychosomatically anyway.

Not dealing with them would be like knowing there is a fire in our cellar and refusing to go down and put it out because that would be unpleasant and we would get temporarily dirty. But that unattended fire will soon find it way to our bedroom and living room and our whole house.
So denial and avoidance are not the solution.

Some guidelines for proceeding would be:

1. If you are going to work with your childhood experiences or any other intense emotions and especially depression, you should have an experienced guide for this work. Someone whom you trust and have access to if you need help.

2. Do not do such work immediately before sleeping, driving or important meetings.

Article Source: http://www.redsofts.com/articles/

Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach.
Over 600 free article and lectures at

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